when im in a bookshop or library and im trying to read the titles of the books on the shelves
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: “ARE YOU OKAY?”
Me: “Please… I need my… phone”
*opens TUMBLR*
Me: “LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT”
lion:
when your friends are talking about a party you aren’t invited to
secondhand embarrassment is pure agony and i wish a lot of comedy didnt rely on it
I cannot deal with it. I have to literally leave the room.
It’s a sign of being extremely empathetic.
thanks! i hate it, how do i uninstall?
some man commented on my mums profile picture ‘beautiful eyes but you should smile more x’ and my 10 year old brother just commented back ‘shut up’ and it’s my favourite thing he’s ever done and i laugh about it every day
Brain: You’re a horrible, worthless, garbage person, and your life is going nowhere but to hell.
Me: I don’t know what the fuck you expect me to do about that at 11PM, my dude.
no one: ur cute
#this single photo here validates the existence of the selfie stick I SWEAR TO GOD
You should see me in a crown
And that is a constant of human existence
bury a friend
FAQ
Q: what the hell is wrong with you?
A: yeah
i realised there was no gender neutral for “my sister from another mister” or “brother from another mother” and so I present to you all “my sib from another crib”
I love it
My bitch from the same ditch
this is the funniest addition ever omg
